Saturday, 19 July 2014

woman goes to Italy to attend a 2 week Company training session

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woman goes to Italy to attend a 2 week Company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

The husband laughs and says: An Italian girl!!!

The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up at the airport and asks:

So, honey, how was the trip?

Very good, thank you.
And, what happened to my present?

Which present? She asked.

The one I asked for - an Italian girl !!
Oh, that she said:

Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl!!
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Thursday, 17 July 2014

I sent a text to my wife last night

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I sent a text to my wife last night, "Hi babe I'm at the pub with some lads, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."
.
.
I sent another text, "Babe I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"
.
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She text back,"OMG really?"
.
.
I replied, "No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message.
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Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Laloo sent his BioData 2 apply 4 apost in Microsoft USA.

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Laloo sent his BioData 2 apply 4 a
post in Microsoft USA. Few days
l8r he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our
requirements.
Please do not send any further
correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates

Laloo prasad jumped wid joy on
receiving this reply. He arranged
apress conference-
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan
kar khushi hogi ki hum ko
Amereeca mein naukri mil gayi
hai."

Every1 was delighted. He
continued "Ab hum aap sab ko
apna appointment Letter padhkar
sunaungaa ? par letter angrezi
mein hai isliye saath-saath Hindi
main translate bhi karunga."

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad -Pyare
Lalooprasad bhaiya
You do not meet -aap to milte hi
nahin ho
our requirement -humko to
zarurat hai
Please do not send any further
correspondence -ab Letter vetter
bhejne ka kaouno zarurat nahin
No phone call -phoonwa ka bhi
zarurat nahin hai
shall be entertained -bahut
khaatir ki jayegi
Thanks -aapka bahut dhanyavad
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A blind man was waiting to cross the road

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A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg.

He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.

A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.”

“Not really,” came the reply. “

I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”
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Monday, 14 July 2014

MALE LOGIC Vs FEMALE INTENT....

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MALE LOGIC Vs FEMALE INTENT....

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me, buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

(I'm sure you're going back to read this again!!)
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Sunday, 13 July 2014

Boy: Marry me.. ?

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Boy: Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car?
Boy: No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy: No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing...
How can i marry you.?? Leave please.!!
Boy: (talk to himself) I hav one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I still need to buy BMW.?!
How can I get the salary
when actually I'm the BOSS
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