Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.
5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Mr. Pratap from Patna.
Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Pratap says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if...
Friday, 15 August 2014
Wednesday, 13 August 2014
College life-
College life-
ASSIGNMENT copy
karte time-
Oye!! Ye kya likha hai??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jo word samajh aa raha
hai wo likh,
jo nai aa raha uska aisa
hi design bana de!!
True or not. ?
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Tuesday, 12 August 2014
न्यूटन- 5 के बीच में 4 कैसेलिखेंगे ?
न्यूटन- 5 के बीच में 4 कैसेलिखेंगे ?.चीन- यह सिर्फ एकमजाक है।जापान- इम्पासिबलअमेरिका- गलत सवालब्रिटेन- लिखही नहीं सकतेपाकिस्तान- अगर तुमऐसे ही बेकार के सवालकरोगे तो हम तुम्हें मारदेंगे।......भारत- F(IV)E
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Monday, 11 August 2014
लडका भगवान से
लडका भगवान से – मेरे
घर से अमेरिका तक रोड
बना दो.
भगवान - मुश्किल है, कुछ
और मांगो.
लडका –
तो ऐसी गर्लफ्रेंड
दिला दो जो मेरे
सिवा और किसी लड़के
को ना चाहे.
भगवान - रोड कब से
बनाना शुरू करूँ?
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Saturday, 9 August 2014
Ek baar char dost the,
Ek baar char dost the,Anta Singh, Banta Singh, Canta Singh and Danta SinghChaaro ne mil ke petrol pump kholaEk bhi customer nahin aaya ..Pata hai Kyun..?Coz Petrol pump was on 1st floor..Fir charo ne usi floor pe restaurent khola…Phir Ek bhi customer nahin aaya..Pata hai Kyun?Petrol pump ka board nahin hataya..Fir charon ne Restaurant bech kar paise...
Thursday, 7 August 2014
Awesome joke...
Awesome joke...
.
Ek Seth ne pappu ko dukaan pe
Rakha, Sales
4 Guna ho gayi,
.
Seth ek din pappu se milne shop
pe aaya toh
woh Grahak ko
Fishing Rod bech raha tha,
Seth khada ho k dekhne laga,
.
Grahak ne 800 me fishing rod
kharid liya. .
.
Pappu bola :- Itne mehnge joote
pehan ke
fishing karoge....??
Sports shoe le lo,
Usne 600 ke shoes le liye,...
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
The love story of kamlesh and kavita.
The love story of kamlesh and kavita.
kamlesh and kavita were both patients in a mental hospital..
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
kamlesh suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
kavita promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When...
Tuesday, 5 August 2014
An 18yr old girl got pregnant.
An 18yr old girl got pregnant..
Mother: "Who was the Pig? Call him"
.
30 Mins later a limousine stops in front of their house..
.
A mature grey hair in a very Expensive Suit, steps out..
.
Man:YOUR daughter has informed me of the problem..
.
However I can't marry her
.
but if a Girl is born I offer 2 stores,A Villa & £2 million
.
If a Boy is born,...
Wife: Look at that Drunker!
Wife: Look at that Drunker!
Hubby: Who is he ?
Wife: 10 years back he proposed me & I rejected..
.
.
Hubby: Oh My God,
He is still Celebrating..
🐓🐓🐓🐓
Tchr : Murgiyo🐓 ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Sardar ka Asardaar reply : Sir, agar murgiyo🐓 ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na.
🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓
Teacher- 🌍💫Chand...
Sunday, 3 August 2014
Aaj kal ki ladkiyan choti choti baat pe
Aaj kal ki ladkiyan choti choti baat pe chat account block kar deti hain... Few examples:
Boy: What's your Name??
Girl: Palak and you?
Boy: Paneer.
**BLOCKED!!!**
Girl : Hello I am Khusbu.
Boy: Khusbu ka dusra naam bharosa agarbati.... kone kone me khusbu faila de.
**Blocked**
Boy: Hi, what's your name??
Girl: Neha Singhal.
Boy: Oh.. I am also...
Saturday, 2 August 2014
Doctor : Roz 5km walk karo
Doctor : Roz 5km walk karo, to 1 sal me 50kg wajan kum ho jayega..
1 saal baad santa phone pe:
Wajan to kam ho gaya,
magar saale ghar kaise jau 1825km door aa gaya hu
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Friday, 1 August 2014
Train me 1 ladke ne T.C Se kaha
Train me 1 ladke ne T.C Se kaha
"Mujhe subah 4 baje Solapur mein utha
dena, agar main na jagu to zabardasti utaar dena. Muje subah
interview dena hai."
Subah 8 baje
ladka jaga to Solapur nikal gaya
tha !
Ladka TC ko gaaliyaa dene laga......!
Logo ne TC se kaha ke wo apko itni gaaliyaan de raha hai aur aap
chup-chap sun rahe hai.
TC :- Main ye...
Thursday, 31 July 2014
A Man Gifted his Wife a Diamond Necklace
A Man Gifted his Wife a Diamond Necklace for their Anniversary and Wife didn't Speak to him for 6 Months.
Was the Necklace FAKE?
- No That was the Deal
A couple was having Dinner at a fancy Restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said - "The food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife- Honey.....You say Prayer before Eating at Home.
Husband:...
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So all of them gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperatelyt rying to prove their superiority.
****************************** *********************
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buyall 7 tickets..Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come……When...
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
Chor aya
Chor aya
Tijori par likha tha
"Todne ki zaroorat nahi button
dabao, khul jayegi"
Button dabate hi police aa gayee.
Police : kuch apni safaii me kehna
hai ?
Chor : maa kasam aaj insaniyat se
vishwas uth gaya.. :P
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Monday, 28 July 2014
Death came to a guy
Death came to a guy and said,"My friend today is your day...".
The guy said,"But I am not ready!".
Then death said,"Well your name is the next on my list...".
So the guy told death,"Ok why don't you take a seat and I will get you something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"All right...".
The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills...
Sunday, 27 July 2014
A little boy was in a taxi eating chocolate
A little boy was in a taxi eating chocolate, then he
took another one and then another.
A man next to him said "Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth"
The boy replied, "my grandfather lived132
years"
The man asked "was it because of eating chocolate?"
The boy replied, "No, he was always minding his
own business" ...
Like &...
Saturday, 26 July 2014
3 kaale dost ek sath ja rahe the...
3 kaale dost ek sath ja rahe
the...
.
Raste me ek pari milti hai,
.
Pari-"ek-ek wish batao main poorikarugi."
.
1st.-"Mujhe gora aur khubsurat
kardo."Pari ne kar dia.
.
2nd-"mujhe bhi aisa kar do."Pari ne kar diya.
.
3rd zor zor se hasne laga or phir
bola........
"Inko wapas pehle jaisa
kardo......
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Friday, 25 July 2014
Pappu checkup krwane doctor k paas gya.
Pappu checkup krwane doctor k paas gya..
Dr:" Tabiyat kaisi hai ??
Pappu:" Pehle se kharab hai..." :(
.
Dr:" Dawa khali thi ??
Pappu:" Ji nai, dawa ki shishi to bhari thi
Dr:" Arre, mera matlb dawa le li thi ??
Pappu:" Ji, aapne di thi to mene leli thi.." :)
Dr:" Bewkoof dawa pee li thi..??
Like & Share (G.Shya...
Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom.
Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done,she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
Husband says...
Wednesday, 23 July 2014
Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven
Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven.
Einstein was seeker. Newton didn't hide & stood in a square of 1 meter.
Einstein: I found u newton !! Thappa !!!
Newton: U are wrong. I am not newton. As i am standing in 1 mt square, i am newton/per mt sq. So I am pascal
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Tuesday, 22 July 2014
Ek Indian aur Ek American donodost the,..
Ek Indian aur Ek American dono
dost the,
.
.
Dono ek din ek chocolate store
me gaye..
.
Waha sab logo ko busy dekhkar
American ne 3 chocolate chura li,
.
Jab dono bahar aaye to American
bola:"Man I m the
best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates
and no one saw me, u cant beat
that"
.
Indian replied:"You wanna see
something better, lets go back to
the...
Monday, 21 July 2014
Teacher:"Whoever answers my question can go home."
Teacher:"Whoever answers my question can go home."
*One boy throws his book bag out the window*
Teacher:"Who just threw the book bag?"
Boy: Me, I'm going home!!"
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Saturday, 19 July 2014
woman goes to Italy to attend a 2 week Company training session
woman goes to Italy to attend a 2 week Company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughs and says: An Italian girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up at the airport and...
Thursday, 17 July 2014
I sent a text to my wife last night
I sent a text to my wife last night, "Hi babe I'm at the pub with some lads, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."
.
.
I sent another text, "Babe I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"
.
.
She text back,"OMG really?"
.
.
I...
Wednesday, 16 July 2014
Laloo sent his BioData 2 apply 4 apost in Microsoft USA.
Laloo sent his BioData 2 apply 4 a
post in Microsoft USA. Few days
l8r he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our
requirements.
Please do not send any further
correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates
Laloo prasad jumped wid joy on
receiving this reply. He arranged
apress conference-
"Bhaiyon aur Behno,...
A blind man was waiting to cross the road
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg.
He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.
A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.”
“Not really,” came the reply. “
I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”
Like & Share...
Monday, 14 July 2014
MALE LOGIC Vs FEMALE INTENT....
MALE LOGIC Vs FEMALE INTENT....
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me, buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."
(I'm sure you're going back to read this again!!)
Like...
Sunday, 13 July 2014
Boy: Marry me.. ?
Boy: Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car?
Boy: No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy: No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing...
How can i marry you.?? Leave please.!!
Boy: (talk to himself) I hav one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I still need to buy BMW.?!
How can I...
Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se :*
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi :O
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla janm lete
hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait
karna padega!! :P
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Saturday, 12 July 2014
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give...
Friday, 11 July 2014
One of my Favorite Joke
One of my Favorite Joke:Killing English1. Principal To Student..." I Saw UYesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel PullingCigarette... ? "2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up ThePaper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm GoingOut Of The World To America.."4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MYBACK.."5. Don't..Laugh At The BackBenches...Otherwise...
Sunday, 6 July 2014
3 drunk guys enterd a taxi.
3 drunk guys enterd a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so
he started the engine & turned it off again.
He told them.
"We have reached".
The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.
The driver was shocked,thinkin g the 3rd drunk
knew what he did.
But he asked "whats that for?".
The...
Saturday, 5 July 2014
Dhoni: How Famous you are...??
Dhoni: How Famous you are...??Sir Jadeja : Whole world knows me.Dhoni: Obama knows u..? Give proof.Then Sir jadeja & Dhoni go to Obama's house.Sir: stand here at the gate, i'll come withObama in balcony and show u.Dhoni: ok.Sir jadeja comes with Obama and wavedDhoni from balcony.After sometime, Sir jadeja bahar aye tohdekha, Dhoni behosh ho gaya,...
Friday, 4 July 2014
A father and son went hunting together for the first time
A father and son went hunting together for the first time.The father said: "Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field."A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son. "What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told youto be quiet."The boy, bless his heart, answered; "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered...
Thursday, 3 July 2014
A man checked into a Hotel.
A man checked into a Hotel.There was a computer in his room, so hedecided to send a mail to his wife.However, he accidentally typed d wrongemail address, and without realizing, hesent the mail to a widow who has justreturned from her husband's funeral.The widow decided to check her mail,expecting condolence messages fromrelatives and friends.After...
Wednesday, 2 July 2014
1st Year Medical Students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class
1st Year Medical Students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class,
They all gathered around the Surgery Table with a real Dead Dog lying on it,
The Professor puts His Finger in Dog's butt & tasted it in his own Mouth,
Then he asked the Students to do the same,
The students Hesitated for several Minutes,
But, eventually Everyone inserted their...
Sunday, 29 June 2014
My few learnings fron TV ad
My few learnings fron TV ad-
1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem and Priyanka has chip-chip.
2. If you've a hot wife make sure your neighbor doesn't use a deodorant in your absence.
3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications
4. Saif Ali Khan din bhar Appy Fizz & Lays khata...
Tuesday, 24 June 2014
Dad: Whats 10 + 10?
Dad: Whats 10 + 10?
Little Johny: I dnt knw!
Dad: Idiot you cnt answer such a
cheap sum... Ur stupidy wil kill you!
Lil Johny: If you saw a 1000 note
and a 500 note.. which would
youpick?
Dad: 1000 of course!
Lil johny: Idiot cnt you pick both!
Poverty wil kill you..!
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Friday, 20 June 2014
A young guy from West Virginia
moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
> The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in West Virginia ."
>
> Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.
>
>...
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
Nitin bhai 30 manzile
imarat par betha hua thatabhi ek admi hafte hue aya aur kha sonu ji apki poti mar gayi.Ye sun kar wo kud pade aur jab wo 20 manzil par pahunche to unhe yaad aya uski koi poti hi nahin hai.Jab 10 mamzil par pahumche to unhe yaad aya ki unki to sadi hi nahin hui.Aur jab wo zamin se takrane wale the to unhe yaad aya ki unka naam to sonu hi nah...
GRANDFATHER TO GRANDSON
> Go hide, your teacher is coming as youbunked school today!>> GRANDSON: YOU go hide… I told her YOUPASSED AWAY!! ;) ...
