Sunday, 13 July 2014

Boy: Marry me.. ?

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Boy: Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car?
Boy: No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy: No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing...
How can i marry you.?? Leave please.!!
Boy: (talk to himself) I hav one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I still need to buy BMW.?!
How can I get the salary
when actually I'm the BOSS
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Saturday, 12 July 2014

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,

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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!

They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.":)
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Friday, 11 July 2014

One of my Favorite Joke

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One of my Favorite Joke:

Killing English

1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U
Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling
Cigarette... ? "

2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The
Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"

3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going
Out Of The World To America.."

4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY
BACK.."

5. Don't..Laugh At The Back
Benches...Otherwise Teeth And All Will Be
Fallen Down.....

6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When
The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch
The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem.
And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not
Oning" (Ing Form Of On)

7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write
Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!

8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is
Revolving Around College"

9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am
Madhu, Married With Two Kids"

10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll
HANG MYSELF"

11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK
AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us...
"My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My
Daughter"

13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially
Mother And Father

14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys
Outside When I Am In The Class?!"

15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend
Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You
Understand. Computer How Understand??

16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The
Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep
Quiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"

17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly
I Will Stand Uping U"

18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit
Outside, The Understandjoin for more No RuleZz
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Sunday, 6 July 2014

3 drunk guys enterd a taxi.

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3 drunk guys enterd a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so
he started the engine & turned it off again.
He told them.
"We have reached".
The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.
The driver was shocked,thinkin ­g the 3rd drunk
knew what he did.
But he asked "whats that for?".
The 3rd guy replied:"CONTROL YOUR SPEED
NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us!". . .
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Saturday, 5 July 2014

Dhoni: How Famous you are...??

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Dhoni: How Famous you are...??
Sir Jadeja : Whole world knows me.
Dhoni: Obama knows u..? Give proof.
Then Sir jadeja & Dhoni go to Obama's house.
Sir: stand here at the gate, i'll come withObama in balcony and show u.
Dhoni: ok.
Sir jadeja comes with Obama and wavedDhoni from balcony.
After sometime, Sir jadeja bahar aye tohdekha, Dhoni behosh ho gaya, hosh me ayatoh Sir ne reason pucha..
Dhoni: Ek American aaya tha, and asked me,'WHO IS THAT MAN WITH Sir Jadeja IN BALCONY...? :0 :) :D
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Friday, 4 July 2014

A father and son went hunting together for the first time

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A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said: "Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field."

A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son. "What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you
to be quiet."

The boy, bless his heart, answered; "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck.

I didn't move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me. I didn't cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn't cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching. But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said,

'Should we eat them here or take them with us?'

well, I guess I just panicked"
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Thursday, 3 July 2014

A man checked into a Hotel.

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A man checked into a Hotel.
There was a computer in his room, so he
decided to send a mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed d wrong
email address, and without realizing, he
sent the mail to a widow who has just
returned from her husband's funeral.
The widow decided to check her mail,
expecting condolence messages from
relatives and friends.
After reading d first message she fainted.
The son rushed into d room, found his
mother on the floor and saw d computer
screen which read : "To my loving wife, i
knw u are surprised to hear from me, they
have computers here and we are allowed
to send mails to loved ones.
I 've just checked in.
How are u and d kids, d place is really nice,
but am lonely here.
I have made necessary arrangement 4 ur
arrival 2morrow. Expecting u darling. I
can't wait to see u!
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Wednesday, 2 July 2014

1st Year Medical Students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class

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1st Year Medical Students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class,

They all gathered around the Surgery Table with a real Dead Dog lying on it,

The Professor puts His Finger in Dog's butt & tasted it in his own Mouth,

Then he asked the Students to do the same,

The students Hesitated for several Minutes,

But, eventually Everyone inserted their Finger in Dog's Mouth & Tasted it,

When everyone finished,

The Professor looked at them & said:

The most important Quality is "Observation"

I inserted my MIDDLE Finger But Tasted the INDEX Finger,

Today you have just Learned, "How To Pay Attention"
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Sunday, 29 June 2014

My few learnings fron TV ad

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My few learnings fron TV ad-
1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem and Priyanka has chip-chip.
2. If you've a hot wife make sure your neighbor doesn't use a deodorant in your absence.
3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications
4. Saif Ali Khan din bhar Appy Fizz & Lays khata hai and still Bade Aaram Se FIT rehta hai
5. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste
6. You can change your country by drinking Tata Tea
7. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!
8. If ur daughter is not Ready to Get married.., take her to a jewellery shop.
9. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get laid.
10. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink theseregularly!!
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Tuesday, 24 June 2014

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