Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom.

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.

She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

Husband says : "Hi Darling, Your parents have come to visit us, so let them stay in our bedroom.

Hope you said Hello to them.."
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Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven

Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven.
Einstein was seeker. Newton didn't hide & stood in a square of 1 meter.
Einstein: I found u newton !! Thappa !!!
Newton: U are wrong. I am not newton. As i am standing in 1 mt square, i am newton/per mt sq. So I am pascal
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Ek Indian aur Ek American donodost the,..

Ek Indian aur Ek American dono
dost the,
.
.
Dono ek din ek chocolate store
me gaye..
.
Waha sab logo ko busy dekhkar
American ne 3 chocolate chura li,
.
Jab dono bahar aaye to American
bola:"Man I m the
best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates
and no one saw me, u cant beat
that"
.
Indian replied:"You wanna see
something better, lets go back to
the shop and I will show you real
stealing"
.
.
So they went to the counter and
Indian said to the Shop boy:"Do
you
wanna see magic.. ??
.
.
Shop boy replied:"Yes."
.
.
Indian said:"Give me one
chocolate
bar."
.
The shop boy gave him one,
and he ate it..
He asked for the second, and he
ate
that as well.
.
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Teacher:"Whoever answers my question can go home."

Teacher:"Whoever answers my question can go home."
*One boy throws his book bag out the window*

Teacher:"Who just threw the book bag?"
Boy: Me, I'm going home!!"
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woman goes to Italy to attend a 2 week Company training session

woman goes to Italy to attend a 2 week Company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

The husband laughs and says: An Italian girl!!!

The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up at the airport and asks:

So, honey, how was the trip?

Very good, thank you.
And, what happened to my present?

Which present? She asked.

The one I asked for - an Italian girl !!
Oh, that she said:

Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl!!
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I sent a text to my wife last night

I sent a text to my wife last night, "Hi babe I'm at the pub with some lads, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."
.
.
I sent another text, "Babe I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"
.
.
She text back,"OMG really?"
.
.
I replied, "No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message.
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Laloo sent his BioData 2 apply 4 apost in Microsoft USA.

Laloo sent his BioData 2 apply 4 a
post in Microsoft USA. Few days
l8r he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our
requirements.
Please do not send any further
correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates

Laloo prasad jumped wid joy on
receiving this reply. He arranged
apress conference-
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan
kar khushi hogi ki hum ko
Amereeca mein naukri mil gayi
hai."

Every1 was delighted. He
continued "Ab hum aap sab ko
apna appointment Letter padhkar
sunaungaa ? par letter angrezi
mein hai isliye saath-saath Hindi
main translate bhi karunga."

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad -Pyare
Lalooprasad bhaiya
You do not meet -aap to milte hi
nahin ho
our requirement -humko to
zarurat hai
Please do not send any further
correspondence -ab Letter vetter
bhejne ka kaouno zarurat nahin
No phone call -phoonwa ka bhi
zarurat nahin hai
shall be entertained -bahut
khaatir ki jayegi
Thanks -aapka bahut dhanyavad
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A blind man was waiting to cross the road

A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg.

He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.

A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.”

“Not really,” came the reply. “

I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”
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MALE LOGIC Vs FEMALE INTENT....

MALE LOGIC Vs FEMALE INTENT....

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me, buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

(I'm sure you're going back to read this again!!)
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Boy: Marry me.. ?

Boy: Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car?
Boy: No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy: No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing...
How can i marry you.?? Leave please.!!
Boy: (talk to himself) I hav one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I still need to buy BMW.?!
How can I get the salary
when actually I'm the BOSS
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Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?

Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?

Santa: Biwi Se :*

Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi :O

Santa: Maa-Baap to agla janm lete
hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait
karna padega!! :P

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