The love story of kamlesh and kavita.

The love story of kamlesh and kavita.
kamlesh and kavita were both patients in a mental hospital..

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.

kamlesh suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

kavita promptly jumped in to save him.

She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of kavita heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell kavita the news she said, 'kavita, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.

I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, kamlesh hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

kavita replied (you'll love this) .
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'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..
How soon can I go home?'
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An 18yr old girl got pregnant.

An 18yr old girl got pregnant..
Mother: "Who was the Pig? Call him"
.
30 Mins later a limousine stops in front of their house..
.
A mature grey hair in a very Expensive Suit, steps out..
.
Man:YOUR daughter has informed me of the problem..
.
However I can't marry her
.
but if a Girl is born I offer 2 stores,A Villa & £2 million
.
If a Boy is born, then 2 factories & £5 million..
but in case of miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
.
Mother: Please try again!
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Wife: Look at that Drunker!

Wife: Look at that Drunker!
Hubby: Who is he ?
Wife: 10 years back he proposed me & I rejected..
.
.
Hubby: Oh My God,
He is still Celebrating..
🐓🐓🐓🐓

Tchr : Murgiyo🐓 ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Sardar ka Asardaar reply : Sir, agar murgiyo🐓 ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na.

🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

Teacher- 🌍💫Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Pappu-NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher- Aur doosra ?

Pappu- doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga .....Langdi khelne thodi gaya tha woh!!!!

Santa- Chicken to bahut badhiya bana hai par thoda ajib sa taste kyu hai?

Banta- banate hue murge ki tang jal gayi thi....
Toh maine SOFRAMYCIN laga di.
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Aaj kal ki ladkiyan choti choti baat pe

Aaj kal ki ladkiyan choti choti baat pe chat account block kar deti hain... Few examples:

Boy: What's your Name??
Girl: Palak and you?
Boy: Paneer.
**BLOCKED!!!**

Girl : Hello I am Khusbu.
Boy: Khusbu ka dusra naam bharosa agarbati.... kone kone me khusbu faila de.
**Blocked**

Boy: Hi, what's your name??
Girl: Neha Singhal.
Boy: Oh.. I am also Single.
**Blocked**

Girl: What's UP?
Boy: Uttar Pradesh...
**blocked**

Girl: Tu soya hai...???
Boy: Nahi...! Schezwan hun..!
**Blocked Instantly**

Girl: I'm free tommorow!
Boy: Pehle kya paid thi??
**BLOCKED**

Boy: Aj mausam achha hai, Mall chalte hain.
Girl: Waha kya karenge??
Boy: Hawan karenge, hawan karenge.
**Blocked**

Girl: See ya!
Boy: Ram Chandra ki jai!
**Blocked**

Girl: Have a Good Day....
Boy: No thank you... I like Parle-G more...
**BLOCKED**

Girl: I need some Space.
Boy: Ok then go to Sonakshi Sinha's forehead.
**Blocked**

Girl puts up her status: Waiting for CHENNAI EXPRESS...
Boy: COOLIE hai kya??
**Blocked**

Boy: Thank you.
Girl: It's my Pleasure.
Boy: My Bajaj Pulsar.
**Blocked Forever**
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Doctor : Roz 5km walk karo

Doctor : Roz 5km walk karo, to 1 sal me 50kg wajan kum ho jayega..
1 saal baad santa phone pe:
Wajan to kam ho gaya,
magar saale ghar kaise jau 1825km door aa gaya hu
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Train me 1 ladke ne T.C Se kaha

Train me 1 ladke ne T.C Se kaha
"Mujhe subah 4 baje Solapur mein utha
dena, agar main na jagu to zabardasti utaar dena. Muje subah
interview dena hai."

Subah 8 baje
ladka jaga to Solapur nikal gaya
tha !

Ladka TC ko gaaliyaa dene laga......!

Logo ne TC se kaha ke wo apko itni gaaliyaan de raha hai aur aap
chup-chap sun rahe hai.

TC :- Main ye soch raha hun ki Subah
jisko maine zabardasti utaar diya hai
Woh kitni gaaliyaan de raha hoga...
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A Man Gifted his Wife a Diamond Necklace

A Man Gifted his Wife a Diamond Necklace for their Anniversary and Wife didn't Speak to him for 6 Months.

Was the Necklace FAKE?

- No That was the Deal



A couple was having Dinner at a fancy Restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said - "The food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife- Honey.....You say Prayer before Eating at Home.
Husband: That's at home sweetheart......
Here the Chef knows how to Cook !!!!


Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt : "Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed..."
🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

Bhakt: Swami ji, Aisi Patni ko kya kehte hai jo Gori ho,
Lambi ho,
Sundar ho,
Intelligent ho,
Pati ko Samjhe,
aur kabhi Jhagda Na kare ????

Swami: Mann ka Vaham kehte hai Beta,
Mann ka Vaham !!!!!

😇💬💭🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

Ladkiwale - Hume aisa Ladka chahiye jo Paan, Cigarette, Daaru na leta ho.....
Sirf Boiled Khaana khae.....
Din Raat Bhagwan ka Naam le......

Pandit - Aisa Ladka to Aapko wo Saamne wale Leelavati Hospital
ke ICU me hi milega....
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7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So all of them gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperatelyt rying to prove their superiority.

****************************** *********************
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buyall 7 tickets..Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come……When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in onetoilet SO when TC knocks, onehand comes out with the ticket and the TC goesaway….Doctors say “Dekhlenge”NOW on return Journey All of them don’t get adirect train to PUNE.So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, as fromthere they can easilyget a LOCAL to PUNE

*************************************************************

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI – LONAVALA) : Doctors decided, “this time we will prove that wetoo are equallySHAANE”….All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket, Engineersdon’t buy any ticket atall!!!!!.. TC arrives….ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..One engineer gets out and knocks the door ofDoctors toilet, One handcomes with the tickets, he takes the ticket andcomes in engg Bathroom…TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavilyfined……..

*******************************************

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :SO now both the group are on LONAVALA station.Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.This time doctors decide that they will playthesame (1 ticket ) trick. ALLDoctors take 1 tickets…Engineers BUY all 7 ticketsthis time…SO TC Comes.. All Engineers show their tickets….. & Doctors are stillsearching for toilet in the LOCAL train!!
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Chor aya

Chor aya

Tijori par likha tha
"Todne ki zaroorat nahi button
dabao, khul jayegi"

Button dabate hi police aa gayee.

Police : kuch apni safaii me kehna
hai ?

Chor : maa kasam aaj insaniyat se
vishwas uth gaya.. :P
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Death came to a guy

Death came to a guy and said,"My friend today is your day...".

The guy said,"But I am not ready!".

Then death said,"Well your name is the next on my list...".

So the guy told death,"Ok why don't you take a seat and I will get you something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"All right...".

The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list to the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he said to the guy, "I will start from the bottom of the list because you have been so very nice to me.."
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A little boy was in a taxi eating chocolate

A little boy was in a taxi eating chocolate, then he
took another one and then another.

A man next to him said "Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth"

The boy replied, "my grandfather lived132
years"

The man asked "was it because of eating chocolate?"

The boy replied, "No, he was always minding his
own business" ...
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