Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Mr. Pratap from Patna.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Pratap says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Pratap says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays………. …

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Pratap says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room..

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak japanese to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Pratap says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of japanese but what do I have to lose?'

So he stays and finds himself with One other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak japanese, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, pratap turns to the other candidate and says,

`Kaun zila ghar Padi ho??

The other candidate answers

Chapra, aur Tohar??'
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College life-

College life-
ASSIGNMENT copy
karte time-
Oye!! Ye kya likha hai??
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Jo word samajh aa raha
hai wo likh,
jo nai aa raha uska aisa
hi design bana de!!
True or not. ?
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न्यूटन- 5 के बीच में 4 कैसेलिखेंगे ?

न्यूटन- 5 के बीच में 4 कैसे
लिखेंगे ?
.
चीन- यह सिर्फ एक
मजाक है।
जापान- इम्पासिबल
अमेरिका- गलत सवाल
ब्रिटेन- लिख
ही नहीं सकते
पाकिस्तान- अगर तुम
ऐसे ही बेकार के सवाल
करोगे तो हम तुम्हें मार
देंगे।
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भारत- F(IV)E
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लडका भगवान से

लडका भगवान से – मेरे
घर से अमेरिका तक रोड
बना दो.
भगवान - मुश्किल है, कुछ
और मांगो.
लडका –
तो ऐसी गर्लफ्रेंड
दिला दो जो मेरे
सिवा और किसी लड़के
को ना चाहे.
भगवान - रोड कब से
बनाना शुरू करूँ?
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Ek baar char dost the,

Ek baar char dost the,
Anta Singh, Banta Singh, Canta Singh and Danta Singh

Chaaro ne mil ke petrol pump khola
Ek bhi customer nahin aaya ..
Pata hai Kyun..?
Coz Petrol pump was on 1st floor..

Fir charo ne usi floor pe restaurent khola…
Phir Ek bhi customer nahin aaya..
Pata hai Kyun?
Petrol pump ka board nahin hataya..

Fir charon ne Restaurant bech kar paise se taxi lee…
But Ek bhi sawari nahin aayi…
Pata hai Kyu..?
Coz 2 dost aage aur 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the..

Ek din Taxi kharab ho gayi…
Charo ne khoob dhakka lagaya…
but taxi wahi ki wahi…
Pata hai Kyu..?
2 aage se aur 2 pichhe se dhakka de rahe the…

Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko kidnap kiya…
Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le kar aa,
warna tujhe maar denge.

Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye….
Pata hai Kyu..?
Coz bachhe ke baap ka nam SANTA Singh tha…!
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Santa aur Banta 8th mein aathvi Baar Fail Ho gaye

Santa: Chal Suicide kar le

Banta: Saale, Pagal Ho Gaya Hai ??
Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru karna padega😛
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Awesome joke...

Awesome joke...
.
Ek Seth ne pappu ko dukaan pe
Rakha, Sales
4 Guna ho gayi,
.
Seth ek din pappu se milne shop
pe aaya toh
woh Grahak ko
Fishing Rod bech raha tha,
Seth khada ho k dekhne laga,
.
Grahak ne 800 me fishing rod
kharid liya. .
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Pappu bola :- Itne mehnge joote
pehan ke
fishing karoge....??
Sports shoe le lo,
Usne 600 ke shoes le liye, .
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Pappu bola :- Dhoop lagegi,
ek Cap bhi lo, usne le li,
Pappu bola :- Fishing karte waqt
bhookh
lagegi to kuch khane ko le lo Usne
chips,
biscuit le liye
.
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Woh bola fish rakhne ke liye ek
basket le lo,
usne le lia Iss tarah uska bill 8000
bana.
Seth bahut khush hua bola :- Tum
acche
salesman ho,
Wo keval fishng rod lene aaya tha
aur Tumne
itna saman bech diya.
. .
.
Pappu :- Sethji wo to Biwi ke
liye"WHISPER" lene aaya
tha, Maine bola :- 7 din kya
karega,
Ja jake machali pakad...
ek like pappu k liye banta hai yar

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The love story of kamlesh and kavita.

The love story of kamlesh and kavita.
kamlesh and kavita were both patients in a mental hospital..

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.

kamlesh suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

kavita promptly jumped in to save him.

She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of kavita heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell kavita the news she said, 'kavita, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.

I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, kamlesh hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

kavita replied (you'll love this) .
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..
..
..
..

'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..
How soon can I go home?'
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An 18yr old girl got pregnant.

An 18yr old girl got pregnant..
Mother: "Who was the Pig? Call him"
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30 Mins later a limousine stops in front of their house..
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A mature grey hair in a very Expensive Suit, steps out..
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Man:YOUR daughter has informed me of the problem..
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However I can't marry her
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but if a Girl is born I offer 2 stores,A Villa & £2 million
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If a Boy is born, then 2 factories & £5 million..
but in case of miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
.
Mother: Please try again!
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Wife: Look at that Drunker!

Wife: Look at that Drunker!
Hubby: Who is he ?
Wife: 10 years back he proposed me & I rejected..
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Hubby: Oh My God,
He is still Celebrating..
🐓🐓🐓🐓

Tchr : Murgiyo🐓 ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Sardar ka Asardaar reply : Sir, agar murgiyo🐓 ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na.

🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

Teacher- 🌍💫Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Pappu-NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher- Aur doosra ?

Pappu- doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga .....Langdi khelne thodi gaya tha woh!!!!

Santa- Chicken to bahut badhiya bana hai par thoda ajib sa taste kyu hai?

Banta- banate hue murge ki tang jal gayi thi....
Toh maine SOFRAMYCIN laga di.
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Aaj kal ki ladkiyan choti choti baat pe

Aaj kal ki ladkiyan choti choti baat pe chat account block kar deti hain... Few examples:

Boy: What's your Name??
Girl: Palak and you?
Boy: Paneer.
**BLOCKED!!!**

Girl : Hello I am Khusbu.
Boy: Khusbu ka dusra naam bharosa agarbati.... kone kone me khusbu faila de.
**Blocked**

Boy: Hi, what's your name??
Girl: Neha Singhal.
Boy: Oh.. I am also Single.
**Blocked**

Girl: What's UP?
Boy: Uttar Pradesh...
**blocked**

Girl: Tu soya hai...???
Boy: Nahi...! Schezwan hun..!
**Blocked Instantly**

Girl: I'm free tommorow!
Boy: Pehle kya paid thi??
**BLOCKED**

Boy: Aj mausam achha hai, Mall chalte hain.
Girl: Waha kya karenge??
Boy: Hawan karenge, hawan karenge.
**Blocked**

Girl: See ya!
Boy: Ram Chandra ki jai!
**Blocked**

Girl: Have a Good Day....
Boy: No thank you... I like Parle-G more...
**BLOCKED**

Girl: I need some Space.
Boy: Ok then go to Sonakshi Sinha's forehead.
**Blocked**

Girl puts up her status: Waiting for CHENNAI EXPRESS...
Boy: COOLIE hai kya??
**Blocked**

Boy: Thank you.
Girl: It's my Pleasure.
Boy: My Bajaj Pulsar.
**Blocked Forever**
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